


i'm trying so hard (to erase you)

by yookhei



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Chaebol Mark, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia kinda, M/M, Making Out, Mark is 26, Strangers to Lovers, engineer jeno, hyuck and 00line are 25, idk how sk works so they live in the usa, it gets kinda heated but its still sfw, kinda fwb mh, lawyer hyuck, sex is implied
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-21 08:01:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18139559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yookhei/pseuds/yookhei
Summary: If he didn’t know before, he knows now. He could tell from the longing looks that Jeno would give him when he thought he wasn’t looking. He could tell from the way that his smile didn’t reach his eyes when he was with his girlfriend. He could tell that Jeno wanted him as much as he did, loved him even.And that’s why he had to leave.





	1. one year ago

**Author's Note:**

> au where hyuck and jeno grow up together and fall in love (but life happens) and hyuck goes to Canada where he meets (you know it) mark lee.
> 
> this is my first fic pls be nice :(
> 
> also first ch is the prologue so it'll be short
> 
>    
> title from Epik High's "Lovedrunk"  
> stream it here (https://youtu.be/47Vz-ptyKbQ)

“Who would’ve thought that little Hyuckie was going to grow up to become a prosecutor, huh?”

 

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, used to his Renjun’s tactics. It was his graduation party, or was it his goodbye party? Maybe a mixture of both.

 

“Just say you’re proud of me and go.”

 

Needless to say, people were happy for him, it took him four years to receive his M.B.A and J.D. degree. It was more than what he would have expected himself to achieve.

 

“I can’t believe you’re really leaving Hyuck, you’re breaking up the gang.”

 

_Yeah, that’s the point._

 

“I mean, you guys will still see me during the holidays! I’ll be back for Christmas.”

 

_I really hope I won’t._

“Hey Hyuck, can I talk to you for a bit?” Jeno whispers.

 

_Fuck._

 

He nods and follows Jeno to the kitchen, away from all the guests.  He looks around the kitchen, trying to memorize the way everything looks for the last time. Maybe as an excuse to not look at Jeno in the eyes when he says,

 

“Look, about what happened at Jaemin's party….” He drifts off.

 

Donghyuck grimaces, knowing where this was headed. Two months ago. That’s how fast things change, how fast friendships change.

 

Jeno and Donghyuck. Donghyuck and Jeno. Those two names came hand in hand, never one without the other. Knowing each other since elementary school does that.

 

They would always talk about how they were meant to become friends, having met after both singing up for soccer try-outs and hitting it off immediately after.

 

Jeno, always being there for Donghyuck whenever his parents had arguments and he wanted to be anywhere else. Jeno, always having open arms for whenever he overheard things he wasn’t supposed to. Jeno’s bed, always available for when Donghyuck just didn’t feel like being at home.

 

It was on a day like this when Donghyuck woke up to his best friend’s head on his chest, arms slipped over his waist, that he realized that maybe what he felt for Jeno was not purely platonic.

 

And judging by the way that Jeno initiated hand holding, the way Jeno rested his head on the crook of Donghyuck’s neck, the way he didn’t mind the little touches sent his way, made Donghyuck think that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way about him.

 

But he was wrong. So terribly wrong.

 

Looking back at it now he doesn’t know what overcame him, the night he decided to kiss his best friend. The music was so loud he could feel it in every inch of his body, and he wasn’t even drunk yet.

 

Jaemin had decided to throw a party as a celebration for their last semester at NYU, so of course he and Jeno decided to tag along.

 

He had lost Jeno in a swarm of bodies but it was fine because he felt at peace with his environment. It wasn’t until an underclassmen started grinding herself on him that he snapped out of it.

 

“Want to get out of here?” She asked with lusty eyes.

 

He panicked. It’s not like he didn’t know how to act with girls, he’s had girlfriends before, but they weren’t where his heart was at.

 

And across the room, he finds it: Jeno, eyes roaming around the room until he spots him and smiles. The electricity he feels while holding eye contact is undefeated, from his head to his toes. He was in love.

 

“Sorry, I have someone waiting for me.” He tries to say over the music and heads towards Jeno, not sparing her a second glance.

 

He smiles back at Jeno as he gets closer, heart growing warmer.

 

“Hey” He smiles, trying to be heard over the loud bass.

 

Jeno says something back but it’s too loud so it’s lost in the music. He notices and frowns, pulling Donghyuck with him to the nearest empty room.

 

“What happened?” Donghyuck worries, knowing his best friend was beyond anxious about passing his first test in his geotechnical engineering class.

 

“My results! The test's been graded, I got a 93, I passed!” Jeno smiles and Donghyuck feels his heart beat ten times faster, if possible.

 

“I’m so proud of you, I told you you’d pass!” He says as he reaches forward to hug Jeno.

 

“You always believe the best of me.” Jeno mumbles along Donghyuck’s neck, making him feel shivers throughout his whole body.

 

Donghyuck moves back slowly, still in embrace, “It’s because you _are_ the best.” He smiles.

 

Maybe it’s the way Jeno is looking at him as if he hung all the stars in the sky, as if he’s the one who gave him an A, whatever it is, it causes him to lean towards Jeno; lips crashing on lips.

 

Jeno reacts quickly to the contact, kissing back with passion he didn’t know he had in him. The kisses become frantic, as if they’re both trying to make the best of it while they can, as if in a dream or a trance. Donghyuck pushes Jeno against the wall, not breaking the kiss, not wanting to waste one second of something he’s been wanting for what seems like forever.

 

Jeno’s hands move underneath his shirt, exploring his backside and pushing them even closer together, if possible. This causes unexpected friction, and Donghyuck’s hips move up towards him, resulting in a moan escaping from Jeno's lips.

 

As if he’s been splashed with ice cold water, Jeno snaps out of his trance. He stops kissing Donghyuck, pushing him away, and looks at him with what Donghyuck can only decipher as disgust.

 

“I-I’m sorr-“ He doesn’t even get to finish his apology before Jeno runs out of the room, leaving him with a broken heart. 

 

Three weeks later, Donghyuck finds out from Jaemin that Jeno started dating some girl from his hydrology class.

 

“Look. I get it, we don’t have to talk about it. You have Jieun now.” Donghyuck sighs.

 

“No, I mean, yes I have Jieun, but that’s not what I want to talk to you about.”

 

_Then what? Do you want to talk about how you were kissing me back? How you were the one that pushed us closer together? How you love me as much as I love you?_

“What happened that night was a mistake,”

 

And just like that the heart Donghyuck thought was broken two months ago, cracked deeper. He didn't think things could have gotten worse, but once again, he was wrong.

 

“it wasn’t supposed to happen. Can we just go back to how things were before then? You don’t have to go to Canada.”

 

He scoffs, “I’m not going to Canada because of you! Did it ever occur to you that maybe I just wanted to start somewhere new? No, it didn’t, because all you care about is yourself!” Donghyuck spits out, angry because he knows Jeno is right.

 

Despite the insult, Jeno’s eyes soften.

 

“Hyuck… It’s just not right. We’re guys… I think maybe we were just single for too long…” Jeno treads, but just as well as he knows Donghyuck, Donghyuck knows him.

 

If he didn’t know before, he knows now. He could tell from the longing looks that Jeno would give him when he thought he wasn’t looking. He could tell from the way that his smile didn’t reach his eyes when he was with his girlfriend. He could tell that Jeno wanted him as much as he did, loved him even.

 

And that’s why he had to leave. He knew Jeno. Jeno would never date Donghyuck, not openly. Even if they dated, he was sure Jeno would want to keep it a secret from everyone, stuffing Donghyuck in a closet; suffocating him. Knowing this hurt him more than it would have if Jeno simply didn’t reciprocate his feelings. He couldn’t stand being near him, knowing his heart was reaching for him but not doing anything about it. Donghyuck had spent too much of his life in the closet to ever want to be stuck there again. He couldn’t do it, not even for Jeno.

 

He took a deep breath and hoped his next words would come out without wavering,

 

“If that’s how you feel, I won’t try to change your mind… I’m too old to be playing these games, Jeno. You know how I feel and if you’re not ready then, maybe, it’s just not meant to be. You know the saying, ‘right person, wrong time.’” He gave a weak smile.

 

Donghyuck believed in all things happening for a reason. Even if Jeno  _did_ feel the same way for him, he wasn’t going to try to be anything more than friends. It would be a different story if he thought Jeno would change the way he views things, he would have waited for him. But he knew better than that, he knew that years of following what society considered “normal” stuck with Jeno. Jeno would never be able to shake up those stereotypical thoughts about sexuality. He knew from the moment he went over, and overheard Jeno's parents say, “Don’t you think the boys seem _too_ close, honey? Should we do something about it before the neighbors start saying things?” They must’ve said something to Jeno that night, since that was the last day they cuddled together in bed.

 

“I’ll always be your friend Jeno, I hope you know this. I just… need to get away for a little. Get these feelings off my chest. I promise I’ll come back as soon as they’re gone. I don’t want to risk losing what’s left of our friendship.” He said, sincerely.

 

Jeno looked pained but understanding seemed to flash through his eyes and he nodded. He wished, more than anything, that Jeno would try to stop him and tell him he loved him, but this wasn’t that type of world.

 

“Take care of yourself, Hyuck. I hope we keep in touch.”

 


	2. eggs and bacon (sausage too)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> present time: (one year later)  
> hyuck meets someone interesting in canada

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (not beta'ed also I forgot to mention English isn't my native language so... yeah. sorry)
> 
> hyuck chooses this outfit for mark: https://twitter.com/markhyuckarchiv/status/1075988164735451136?s=21

“So, are you coming?”

 

“Hyuck?”

 

“Hello?..."

 

He shook his head, disappointed the memories of his last night in New York took over once again.

 

“I’m sorry, Jaemin, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it this thanksgiving… I’ve got a lot of work piled up, you know how law is…” He dragged, hoping his excuse seemed believable enough. "But I'll definitely try to make it for Christmas!"

 

A pause.

 

“Yeah, I know… Didn’t know it was that bad up there. Also, isn't that what you said last year before you left? You were too busy for Christmas too...” He felt a sudden need to defend Vancouver but that would only go against what he said so he stayed quiet.

 

“By the way, how are you Hyuck? Haven’t spoken to you in a couple of days.”

 

Donghyuck sighed, heart hurting with how much he missed his friends.

 

“Honestly? I love it here. I miss you guys like crazy, but I love everything about this place. How about you, how are you? How are the guys, Renjun, Jisung, Chenle, Jeno?” He asked, hoping he didn’t pause too long on Jeno’s name.

 

He still thought about him every now and then, he wasn’t lying when he said he was busy. But sometimes, when the day was a certain type of sunny where everything looked a shade of gold, he couldn’t help but think of when he and Jeno watched the sunset together. He could swear he still remembered the way Jeno would complement him and compare his skin to the sunset. On these days, Donghyuck worked late; making sure to not leave his office until after the sun set.

 

“Well, you know, we all started working right after graduation. Nothing fun there. Oh wait! Jisung proposed to Chenle! I think they’re getting married summer next year, he said he would send us the invitations when they plan things out a little more. He’s the only one making me proud, Renjun is still trying to be a player, acting like he’s not about to be twenty-six.”

 

He laughed, knowing how his friends were and missing them all at once.

 

“I’m so happy for Jisung and Chenle! They were always crazy for each other. I’ll never forget that one day, freshman year, when he told us a cute boy asked for his help in math. He was so excited until he realized he forgot to ask for his number. Honestly, he’s lucky Chenle thought he was good looking, otherwise I don’t see why _anyone_ would ask Park Jisung for help.”

 

He was smiling, reliving the memories. Laughing when he remembered that Jisung was worried that Chenle wouldn’t be into tall, skinny, guys. 

 

“He majored in law too, right? I feel like I remember seeing Chenle in a couple of my classes. Who would’ve thought Jisung would marry the first person he dated in college, huh?”

 

“Yeah, he did! I had him for some of my classes too! And, yeah, that lucky bastard. What about you though, have you met anybody there? Any guys or girls caught your eye?” Jaemin wavered.

 

Normally, Donghyuck wouldn't find this question weird since his friends were always in his business. But the way that Jaemin asked it made him feel a little suspicious, this and the fact that he completely avoided speaking about Jeno, even when he asked about him.

 

“No, you know me, I’m basically single for life, Nana. I haven’t had the time to meet anyone new.” He answered, truthfully. Even though when he _did_ have free time, the last thing on his mind was looking for someone new, he was not ready enough to put his heart out there again.

 

“Oh, true you always were.” Jaemin laughed awkwardly, and Donghyuck wondered whether or not he should question his friend’s weird actions.

 

“I actually have to get going though! I’m glad we got to talk, hope you meet someone soo—ah!" Jaemin got cut off and he could only hear a shuffling and a whispered, "Okay, sorry." Before he continued, "Bye Hyuck, it was nice catching up with you. Stay safe!” 

 

_Well, as far as phone conversations go, that one could have been worse._

 

He couldn’t help but wonder why Jaemin was acting weird when asking about him meeting someone. Had something serious happened between Jeno and Jieun? Were they engaged too, and Jaemin was just showing his concern for him? Donghyuck wasn’t dumb, he knew that some of his friends must have had an idea about what was happening between him and Jeno. Judging by the way that they never questioned how close they were.

 

Maybe this was the thought that had Donghyuck going to a club that Friday night, but he wouldn’t admit it to himself. He didn’t want to put Jeno as someone important enough in his heart to control whether or not he should try and meet someone. At least that’s what he told himself.

 

As soon as he stepped in the club, clad in ripped jeans and a loose-fitting t-shirt, he wondered whether he had made the right choice. Clubbing wasn’t fun without his friends, so he ended up sitting on the bar stool, disappointed he wasn’t having fun even though it was his fault for being a coward.

 

“Can I help you with a drink?” The good-looking bartender asked.

 

“Is there a drink that’ll make me irresistible to men?”

 

“Mmm… I think that’s called plastic surgery, but I’ll get you a scotch. You seem to be going through it.”

 

The bar was particularly lonely, everyone else was grinding on each other by the dance floor or making out on the tables.

 

“Yeah, I guess you can say that.” He replied, thankful.

 

The bartender looked around, for customers he assumed, and said,

 

“Mind sharing? Not like we have anyone else to talk to.”

 

Donghyuck scoffed but it’s not like he was lying.

 

“I just came to the realization that all my friends have better love lives than me while I still haven’t even lost my gay virginity, I’m Donghyuck by the way.”

 

If the bartender would have been drinking something, he swears he would have been choking. Maybe he didn’t expect Donghyuck to be so honest. But the bartender—,

 

“What’s your name?”

 

“Mark.”

 

—Mark looked like someone who wouldn’t judge him. Or maybe it was because he was feeling a little tipsy, who knows.

 

“Is that why you came here? To find someone to fuck?” Mark laughs, non-judgmental.

 

“I guess? I mean I don’t think I was expecting anything, I just felt a little suffocated. Needed to let it out.”

 

Mark nods, as if he too had gone through it before as well.

 

The two talk about small things like Donghyuck being a lawyer and him having moved from NYC, how Mark doesn’t actually work at the bar and was just covering for a sick friend, and how they both prefer the winter over the summer.

 

He doesn’t even drink more than the first three drinks Mark gave him before they started talking, too invested in finally having gotten to know someone that isn’t work related.

 

“You know, you’re my first friend here. I’ve been here for a little more than a year and everyone I met was because of work.”

 

“Oh wow, I didn’t know I was your first! It was an honor deflowering you.” Mark jokes, and Donghyuck swears he might be flirting—or maybe Donghyuck hopes he is.

 

Donghyuck smiles at him.

 

“You know… I don’t usually do this but… If you were down, I wouldn’t mind actually being your first.” Mark says, sounding like a whisper which is almost impossible with all the music.

 

A beat passes, and Donghyuck swears his heart is as loud as the bass playing in the background.

 

“I wouldn’t mind either.”

 

And like that, the two found themselves in Donghyuck’s company provided extravagant apartment. If there was a word for apartments that were bigger than houses, this was it, and he was living in one.

 

He wasn’t going to lie and say he didn’t feel nervous, he’d never had sex with a man before. This didn’t mean he didn’t know what to do, he’d seen enough porn to know what happens.

 

“Well, this is it.” He states as he locks the door of the apartment behind them.

 

As soon as he turned around, Mark’s mouth was on his, and he wasn’t complaining. Mark tasted sweet despite the alcohol they had consumed earlier. Donghyuck felt oddly safe in Mark's arms despite the fact that they hadn't known each other for more than a couple of hours. At one point he wondered _is this really how I want to lose my virginity?_ But honestly, he just wanted to get it over with and there was something he trusted in Mark, maybe they could even be friends after. He was no longer scared or worried.

 

The night ended with both Mark and Donghyuck blissed out and asleep, in each other's arms.

 

☾

 

Donghyuck was glad he woke up first. Not only did he have time to get himself together but he was also able to look at the beauty that is Mark— _wait, what's his last name?—_ sleeping. Soft, raven-black hair, smooth porcelain colored skin, long eyelashes, a fit ass body, _and_ he was great in bed, this boy really had it all. Donghyuck wasn't particularly lacking by any means but this boy right here was pretty enough to be an idol. 

 

After Donghyuck stopped being creepy, he decided it would be best to get up and make some coffee and even some food—he had a guest over after all. Speaking of— _thinking of?—_  he really hoped Mark wouldn't be awkward about the whole thing, he really seemed like a cool guy and Donghyuck wouldn't mind being his friend. 

 

_But I mean, if he was fine sleeping with me then he'd be fine with being my friend too, right? Am I overthinking this?_

 

He considered that maybe he was, in fact, overthinking as he scrambled some eggs. Donghyuck decided to push that subject to the back of his mind and continue working with the bacon and sausages. He was glad that he had the time to teach himself how to cook in the year he lived by himself since arriving Vancouver, Jaemin would do all the cooking back in their shared apartment—Donghyuck washed the dishes so he didn't feel  _completely_ useless.

 

"You're up early for a Saturday." Mark said, voice husky with sleep as he stepped in the kitchen.

 

"Yeah, it's the lawyer thing, I don't even need an alarm anymore." He gets two plates and starts serving breakfast "You're just in time for some eggs and bacon!" He smiled.

 

"And sausage, apparently. Wow, a lawyer  _and_ a cook. You're such a catch Donghyuck." Mark flirts.

 

"Well, I feel like it's the least I could do since... you know"

 

"Since I slept with you?" Mark laughs, a breathtaking, heartwarming laugh. He laughed with his whole body, unlike someone he knew who laughed with his eyes. "Thanks, I guess? I mean I enjoyed it so I still feel like I won here."

 

Donghyuck could feel his cheeks warm up.

 

_How is he okay with talking about it so openly like this while I can't even control my own blushing?_

 

"Do you want to do something with me today?" Donghyuck asked, feeling brave and wanting to change the subject all in one.

 

"What, do you want to fuck again? I mean I'm down but, like, let me shower first. Or join me?" Mark smiled.

 

"Oh my god, you're insatiable. I meant hanging out outside of here, exploring the city maybe? I've been here for a year and I still don't really know anything about the place. You said you were born here right?" He asked, trying to recall if Mark told him last night. Truthfully, the only thing he could really remember was calling out Mark's name over and over but that wasn't really relevant at the moment.

 

Mark laughed, "Yeah I was born and raised here—my parents have too many things going on to ever leave. But yes, I'd love to show you around! An unofficial tour from an official citizen. You're lucky my schedule cleared up for today." 

 

"Thank you, I'll make sure to repay you someway" he flirted "and, your schedule? What exactly is it that you do again? Apart from filling in for your friends at a bar, obviously." Donghyuck asked, curious.

 

"Oh... I, uh... work at a company, you probably haven't heard of it..." 

 

"I'm a lawyer, I've had at least one case against every company there is here in Vancouver. Hit me with it."

 

"Leesun Rising."

 

"No way. You thought I didn't know about Leesun Rising?? They're the biggest company in the technology game right now, you work there?" He asked, eyes wide.

 

"Well I was trying to stay humble alright, but yeah I do. Uh... should we start heading out? Actually, can I take a shower here first? And... borrow some clothes maybe? Mine are a bit... torn..." 

 

The image of how the buttons on Mark's shirt were torn reach his mind and he can't help but smile. 

 

"Oh yeah, you're right. You can go ahead and shower," He pointed towards the rest room "I'll pick some clothes out for you if you'd like? Or would you like to choose?" Donghyuck was worried he'd choose the wrong thing. 

 

Mark got up and made his way to the rest room, "No, it's okay. I trust you." He said without turning back to see the smile on Donghyuck's face.

 

Donghyuck takes the liberty in choosing a white turtleneck and some blue jeans for Mark but then remembers how cold it's going to be and adds a blue jacket just in case. He reevaluates what he's wearing but decides to simply add a leather jacket on top of his black and white striped turtleneck that he loves so much. 

 

 _Is it too cold to wear my black ripped jeans?_ _Should I change?_

 

But he decided to keep them on because  _they make my ass look good_.

 

The duo were out as soon as Mark got out of the shower and changed.

 

"So, is there a specific place you'd like to visit, or would you like me to choose?" Mark asked.

 

And this is how they ended up at Stanley Park, walking side by side and enjoying the beautiful fall colors of gold, red, and yellow on the trees. They walked for what seemed like hours but was probably only one since Donghyuck got tired of walking so much and decided to sit down on a bench, facing the water. The pair talked about many different things such as how "Michael Jackson was the best artist to ever exist and no one will ever compare," and how Mark "could've been a big underground rapper," but his parents were never going to allow it.

 

"Wait," Hyuck interrupted, laughing. "wait... Are you really telling me you'd be a  _rapper_ _?_ "

 

"I am so serious! I would've been the best rapper in the game."

 

"Okay, Drake" He smiled.

 

"Drake's not even from Vancouver! He's from Toronto! Oh my god," Mark looked around "I hope no one heard you say that. I can't be seen with someone who thought Drake was from Vancouver."

 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes but laughed, "Sorry... Told you no artist can compare to MJ so there's no reason for me to know where he's from."

 

Mark simply shook his head, disagreeing silently.

 

"Look! The sun is setting! Isn't it beautiful, Hyuck?"

 

And just like that, he wasn't in Canada anymore. He was in New York, on the rooftop of Jeno's apartment building watching the sunset with his best friend. They were sitting next to each other huddled in some blankets. The air was cold around them but not a single part of him could feel it. He was busy looking at the way the sun reflected off of all the buildings around him when he noticed another apartment had their window open and a cat was also looking out. Donghyuck smiled and turned to show Jeno but that's when he noticed that the older boy was already looking at him.

 

"What? Is there something on my face?" Donghyuck asked, concerned.

 

"No, I just, the sunset complements you so well. You're beautiful, Hyuck." Jeno smiled, love pouring out of his eyes and sincerity written across his face.

 

"Hyuck?"

 

"Donghyuck? Are you okay?" Mark asked, worried, snapping Donghyuck out of the memory that seemed so long ago.

 

His heart hurt. It was getting hard to breathe. How could he so easily forget the love he and Jeno shared? How could he already be creating new memories with someone else?

_The same way he got a girlfriend after we kissed, I suppose._

And with that thought, he decided to put Jeno and their memories shared in the back of his mind. The same way he did. 

 

"I'm sorry, yes, I'm fine. You just... you called me Hyuck and it threw me off. Sorry..."

 _Please don't ask me about it. I'm not ready to talk about Jeno with you. Let me live in a world where Jeno doesn't exist, where Donghyuck and Jeno aren't a package deal, for a little longer_ — _even if it is a lie._

 

"Sorry, I should've asked. Is it not okay for me to call you that? Would you prefer I call you Donghyuck instead?

 

"I..." He paused.

 

"How about Haechan?" Mark suggested, carefully. He seemed to understand that using "Hyuck" made him feel things and Donghyuck was thankful he didn't press further.

 

"Haechan?" Donghyuck repeated, testing it to see how it rolled out of his tongue.

 

"Yes, I feel like it suits you. You're always shining—like the sun. A full sun." He smiled at him. An honest, charming smile. Donghyuck couldn't help but smile back.

 

"Well, I suppose, if you think it suits me then why not?"

 

"It's getting late, let's get out of here before they close us in. Are you hungry? I know a great Korean place around the corner." Mark said, standing up from the bench.

 

"Actually... I'm a little tired." Donghyuck answered, honestly. The resurfacing of old memories tends to do that to people.

 

Mark's crestfallen face makes him immediately regret his decision but by then it was too late.

 

"Oh... That's okay too, we did walk a lot. Sorry." He stammered.

 

"No, don't worry! I had fun, we should definitely do this again." He smiled, hoping that his face showed how honest he was being. He didn't want to hurt Mark's feelings just because he got upset at an old memory.

 

"That sounds great, speaking of, can I get your number? I don't think we've exchanged them yet." Mark laughed, taking his phone out.

 

"Oh yea, that's true! Here's mine." Donghyuck agreed as he put in his phone number on Mark's phone and handed his to Mark for him to do the same.

 

"Now that that's settled, let's go. I'll drive you to your place?" Donghyuck questioned.

 

"Umm... Actually... Can you take me to the bar? I kind of left my car there last night since we left on yours..." He scratched his neck, smiling.

 

"Right, of course, I'll take you there." Donghyuck didn't have to check to know he was blushing.

_When am I going to learn to be as cool about this as he is? God, he makes me feel nervous._

 

The drive to the bar was a mixture of them singing Michael Jackson songs and Donghyuck threatening to turn the music off if Mark played another one of his friend's SoundCloud tracks because "once was enough Mark but I swear if I have to go through that again I  _will_ crash this car."

 

"Here we are." Donghyuck noted, as they both got out of the car outside the bar.

 

"Thank you for bringing me back."

 

"It's no problem, thank you for showing me one of the most beautiful spots in Vancouver. I had fun."

 

"Not as much as I did. Let me know if you want to do it again sometime, I'll make sure to keep my schedule open for you." Mark smiled at him.

 

"Definitely. And, if it's okay, can I let you know if I want to do something else too?" Donghyuck asked, hoping Mark would get the message and not make him spell it out.

 

"I thought you'd never ask. Of course. See you again soon, Haechan." Mark waved goodbye as he entered his car, leading Donghyuck to do the same.

 

He drove home in quiet peacefulness, the smile never leaving his face. Everything about today had already been better than most of the days before. He had gotten home and cleaned up, ready to make himself some dinner, when he started scrolling through his social media and saw the one thing that could wipe that smile off—Jeno.

Not just Jeno, but Jeno having fun with all his friends. Jaemin, Jisung, Chenle, and Renjun. Donghyuck didn't know what hurt more. Knowing his friends could easily move on without him after knowing them for years or the fact that  _Jeno_ could move on without him after knowing him his whole life. After having loved him.

 

_That's enough. No more moping for me._

 

So he reached for his phone and called the one person he knew could bring a smile to his face even though he was hurting inside.

 

_Calling..._

_...._

_..._

" _Hello?"_

 

"Hey, Mark, sorry about before. Are you still free right now?" His heart was beating nervously, waiting for a reply.

 

 _"I told you I'd keep my schedule open for you Haechan, I'll go pick you up."_ And he could tell without even looking, that Mark was smiling at him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u guys are liking it so far :(  
> please lmk what u think bc I did this on a whim skdjsk

**Author's Note:**

> pls let me know ur thoughts


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